Wednesday, 9 June 2010

A.M. ... 09/06/2010

I slept like a baby people. I haven't slept that well in months. I guess there's something about ripping an asshole a new arsehole that relaxes and refreshes you. Maybe you all should try it today. Go up to someone who's been asking for it for a while and just open up on them. Warning: this advice is not a guaranteed stress reliever. It has been known to backfire on a number of people. Particularly in the instance of the said person being bigger than your ass.
That being said, how did you all get through the night? My married men, did she let you get some nookie? My married women, did that horny bastard want some loving again? There's always two sides to a story.
I'm on the way to work. I'd like to give a special shout about that. Governor Fashola, this BRT thing is a dream come true. Now if you use this service, you'd know that the buses leave in numerical order in the mornings. The first bus, second bus, third, fourth and so on. This morning, I have somehow managed to get on the second bus, as opposed to my usual 4th and 5th bus antics. When you follow a particular mode of transport everyday, you begin to memorize the faces around you, meaning right now, a majority of thez faces here on this bus are new to me.
I have developed another theory, I call it Womilee's theory of the Early Babe Will Get My Worm. Dammit, the women on this bus are fine! No disrespect to the women who follow the other buses, but it was like a beauty contest in this place this morning. And I was the judge. Miss Business Suit, 2010. And the winner is the hot babe two seats in front of me, with the tight brown pants.
Which makes me think, do pretty women get up earlier than not-so-pretty women? Cos like I said, this is the first time I'm coming early enough to meet the 2nd bus, and seeing as the women on my regular bus do not exactly take my breath be honest I hold my breath instead sometimes. It makes me womder what the women on the first bus might look like... If only I could find out. But we're here to talk fact, not fiction. There's no way I'm ever making that first bus.
But none of this answers my original question. Do pretty women wake up earlier? Are they just rearing to go, to inflict pain and longing on helpless bastards like myself? Walk by, looking good, smelling even better and somehow expecting me not to want me a little love.
Ladies, please try and spread yourselves out a bit... You perverts out there, that is NOT what I meant! I mean, don't just come all in full force like this. Mix with the uglies please, my heart, mind and more intimate parts of my anatomy cannot handle all this beauty at once. Thank the lord I left the engine oil at home.
I'm gone people, need to prepare my mind for work, plus, it would be unconstitutional not to try and find my life mate this morning. Like 50 cent said, "have a baby by my baby, be on welfare". Or something to that effect.
I'm Womilee people, laters.


  1. Peoples you can now leave comments.... your views pls