Does it feel good to you? Again? I feel incredible gentlefolk, really, I feel light-headed. By some incredible stroke of luck, I'm already on my way home. I'm not as pissed off as I usually am at the end of the day. This wonderful feeling I'm experiencing can be attributed to several factors. I had my usual slow day at the hotel, the CEO's girl had to lean over me severally to reach her desk, a certain darling cousin popped in to say hi. All these things contributed to the excellent mood I'm in, but most importantly...and don't act like you haven't been waiting for me to say this... TGIF!
Fuck it, I'm happy. I'm not waking up early tomorrow morning, I'm not wearing a suit, I'm not smiling at any assholes cos they're bosses tomorrow. I'm going to get up by 10am, I'm going to be in shorts all day and I'm going to randomly give the finger to anyone I feel like. I'm so happy.
People, today went alright. With a slight exception of course. Bankers. Dammit, bankers are boring. Today on the way to the hotel, I got stuck in the car with a banker, and an ugly banker at that. For some reason, bankers love to prove how sophisticated, and financially knowledgeable they are to everyone. What's even more surprising is that they pull this bullshit on each other too.
This babe wouldn't shut the fuck up. She kept going on and on about stuff I had no idea about. Using words like 'full disclosure' and 'regularisation' and 'equity' and shit. All I was thinking was "goddamn, that's a healthy beard you've got there."
Generally, I prefer my women completely hairless. I like it when I'm stroking a girl and it doesn't serve as a reminder that I need a shave. But I guess I can always make allowances for the occasional chin strand. But I swear this babe had a Mr T thing going on with her beard. She looked like Rick Ross, just a bit ligher skinned. Same size tits tho. I guess I should have been listening to what she was yammering about, but all I could think was whether she went to the barbers' to get it trimmed like I do, or if she used a shaving kit. Damn near asked her for her views on the new Gilette razor blade.
I shouldn't be talking like such a bastard. I'm sorry, its my mood. Can't help smiling as I'm typing it. You know what, let me talk about something else, this isn't fair.
Goddamit people, please tell me you're all in a mood like mine. I feel awesome. Stronger, faster, better and frigg it, I swear my dick got bigger! I am superman! No fuck that, dude wears red underwear on the outside. I'm batman!... No I'm not that cool. Spiderman? Aquaman? Dammit I'm some sorta superhero! With a bigger dick!
So what are you all doing this weekend? Gonna follow my advice? Music, movies books and sex? We'll do it in reverse order this week. So...
1. Sex; y'all go on head. Fuck like rabbits on viagra. If you in love, make love. If you're feeling maternal, make babies. And if you're just feeling horny, then make like Nike and Just Do It! For my ladies out there who have gotten their plumbing sorted in a while, call me darlings. Let's do the do. The number is 0802-I-GOT-WOOD!
2. Books; Not this weekend people. This weekend is for immaturity, immorality and all round fuckery.
3. Movies; in the theme of the weekend, dammit I suggest porn! Or at least something with a lot of nudity and a totally senseless script. We are trying to have fun people. FYI, please, please, please gentlefolk, don't do this alone. Make sure there is someone to touch nearby, just incase. And hide the lubricants! Unless absolutely necessary.
4. Music: I'm sorry, I can never be careless with this option. It is too important. Please get you hands on Robin Thicke's The Evolution of Robin Thicke. The album is simply beautiful.
I almost forgot, the World Cup is finally here! Alright! I am Nigerian, so I will be watching tomorrow. I will also try to be as drunk as humanly possible, to ensure I can't get angry... Just in case.
Gentlefolk, the week hasn't always been great, but we had each other for support. The blind leading the blind. Remember to remember people, cos ill be back before you can say GIM.
Till then people, I am Womilee, TGI muthafucking F!