This will be in 3 parts gentlefolk.
First, they did it again. The Terrible Two, The Dumb-Fuck Duo, The Asshole Alliance. This partnership I speak of is made up of my bastard boss and and customer that chooses to fuck up my day. I was having such a relaxed day too. Its like everyone was wary of the weather, noone wanted to risk coming out in the rain. The bank was free. Infact, I was already worried about what I was going to rant about this evening.
But thank you fate, you once again supplied a topic. At my own expense as usual. Tell me good people, why is it that if I get to the office late, I get into trouble. But when I leave late, that's totally acceptable, not commendable, but acceptable. And on the flip side, getting to the office early is preferrable, but leaving early is frowned upon. Can you see what I'm getting at here?! What the fuck is wrong with the world. We are sadists. That's the only rational explanation. I'm a sadist, you're a sadist and my boss is Satan.
Tell me gentlefolk, is 4.00pm not the standard closing time for most organisations? Including banks, is this not the normal, generally accepted time by which most companies shut down for the day? If you all agree with me, then tell me why a perfectly rational being, of sound mind and body, and not being influenced by any forces, seen and unseen, physical and spiritual, tell me why this idiot would show up by 4.55pm to conduct business?! Again, is this rational? But let us assume for a minute that this customer is perfectly sane and was just born an asshole. Would you say then, that my boss, who allowed him conduct said business is mentally stable? Cos if I were to diagnose him, with all the medical and psychological experience at my disposal, I would state, as my professional opinion of course, and using the most intricate medical jargon, that my boss must be out of his fucking mind...
Do you know the most upsetting part though? It was the way he told me to handle the transaction. He said 'we' should just round it up quickly. Apparently, it wouldn't take 'us' that much time. So if 'we' are fast, then 'we' can go home to 'our' families and avoid the rain soaking 'us'.... Who the fuck are all these people he was referring to?! Cos from where I was standing, there were no collectives. It wasn't a joint venture. I wasn't wearing a Batman costume and calling him Boy Wonder, this was not a team effort... It was me! I was the one who had to be quick. It was I who had to avoid getting drenched by the rain. MY family who I had to get back too. Unless of course we're somehow related... Which is entirely impossible. There is no history of insanity in my family. Or maybe he has somehow moved into my house... But that too is an impossibility. I cannot see myself having that much access to my boss. He would have shown up to work one day with the right-side of his moustache and left eyebrow shaved off.
It feels good to get that off my chest. Now for part two, some shameless advertising and PR. It is no news that I'm a rap fan. I love me my music, but rap is my first love. So it makes me happy when I hear a Nigerian rap. I would very much like Eedris and several other nigerian 'rappers' to sit down now, I wasn't talking about you bastards. As I was saying, music is important to me and so when people are not shouting 'ginger' and 'swagger' constantly, it brings me inexplicable joy. Now to my point. There is a mixtape coming. A mixtape to end all mixtapes. Put together by a group of gentlemen who share a part of their name with a dish... Apparently they enjoy fresh fish quite a bit. Gentlefolk, Fresh Boy is in the building! Dammit, my boy's mixtape is coming! Gentlemen, I guarantee you, my family can spit it! If he couldn't, I wouldn't have him on the board. Yes people, he is a member of the elusive board I constantly refer to, so please anything about this blog that upsets you, feel free to see him.
His name is Teeto Ceemos, and he is ILL. The other board members must however be left unknown, this exposure is as much as we can allow. So boys, listen to and love the mixtape. Ladies, he's a pretty boy. Nuff said.
Finally gentlefolk, the third part of this. If you all remember, there was a post in which I was very upset... Okay that is a bit obsure. Let me rephrase... There was a post in which I was irate. Right, that's still a rather wide selection of posts. It was about my boss (again) and an inspirational speaker? Now you remember. Anyways, I mentioned an acquaintance who was upset about her ex, and told me all about it. Well gentlefolk, she saw the blog today. And she's not happy. So I'm saying this to her. Babe, if you're reading this (which I doubt), I apologise. It was an insensitive thing to do and I'm very very sorry. I would tell you this privately, but you've done the smart thing and deleted me from your contact list.
And by the way, to my idiot advisors, thanks a lot for the 'advice' gentlemen. Bastards that you are.
One more thing. One of my reader's says today is her birthday. Happy Birthday Bee A. Hope you having a good day.
I'll see you all on friday gentlefolk.
I an Womilee...What it look like?!