Does it feel good to you? Have you been liberated? Are the suits and heels off? Is the only phone ringing your personal mobile? Have you said it yet??? If you haven't, join me. Take a deep breath, steady yourself... TGIF! TGIF!! TGI muthafucking F!!! Never mind the person next to you, looking at you like you're crazy. Fuck 'em. They didn't work as hard as you this week, THEY KNOW NOTHING! You deserve this relief, this euphoria, this happiness.
But wait, before you explode, remember not to close your eyes. If u do, you'll miss it all. You'll wake up on monday wondering where it all went. Trust me, sleep isn't an option if you want to beat the time given to you. It may seem an impossible task I'm suggestng you undertake, and I assure you, it is! I'm sorry if I got your hopes up, all hot and bothered. But be rational my friend, you wan quench? After the week you've had, no sleep? I believe the term is 'an exercise in futility'.
This does not mean you shouldn't go have a bit of fun though. Oh no, I would never suggest that, I'm no republican. Ladies please, let your hair down, gentlemen, help them. But do not forget to remember, I implore you. Do what you do, and keep the memory for monday morning. Do not fail in this endeavou. Take pictures, vidoes, write it down, get a fucking tatoo, just do something that signifies the fun you had this weekend. Cos when monday comes (and trust me, it will), and you're cursing whatever deity you worship for your lack of R&R that weekend, you can look at your little memento and smile... Till you get to work and your boss pisses you off again.
I dunno how you are planning to spend your friday night. Maybe you have big plans, dancing and drinking. Or maybe you are like me, had a shit week wnd just wanna get to sleep. Either way, please enjoy your emancipation from the slave trade that is our modern economy. But again, I beg you, do not forget to remember.
GIM is thankfully only a weekday endeavor, I will not be infringing on your weekend plans... Cos honestly, I got my own shit to do. I want you all to consider this as some form of anti-therapy and me as your anti-shrink. I use the prefix because you will not be telling me your thoughts and feelings, I will be telling you mine, and unfortuntely I can't charge any sort of fee for it.
Ladies and gentlemen, as I leave you for now, allow me to suggest a few things for the weekend...
1. Music, and not that rubbish in which the predominant words are 'swagger and 'ginger', I mean real music. For my rap heads, may I suggest Biggie's Life After Death album. For you softer folk, Maxwell's Embrya is excellent and for those in the middle, Lauryn Hill's Miseducation of Lauryn Hill.
2. Watch something interesting. That means turn off fucking Africa Magic and go get a good movie or series. Try Love Actually, its one of my favourite movies of all time.
3. A book perhaps. I don't know what you like, but I think you should go for fiction. (Ladies this is not an excuse to break out the romance novels tho. I said fiction, not unrealistic fantasy). Try a John Grisham or Sidney Sheldon, they're both excellent writers.
4. And finally, GET LAID! It may sound cliche, but I like to believe good sex can put a smile on the meanest of muthafuckers. If u don't hav a chance in hell of getting some this weekend (present company included), please do try not to reach for the soap, cream, engine oil or in the case of ladies, blunt cylindrical objects.
My name is Womilee people, and TGIF!