I'm getting worried people. I've always claimed insanity, but I fear I'm taking things too far. I have developed a shocking habit of constantly cursing at customers under my breath. This is not new, as I often curse people out, especially customers. But I used to reserve it for those who deliberately upset me, and even then, I would do it in my mind. It would be a quick, vulgar thought, and then it would vanish. Today, I took it way further than I should. Yes, I'm generally an angry, grumpy person. Yes I mostly loathe all who speak to me. But when someone says a polite 'good morning' to you and your instant reply is 'suck your mother too', its clear something is wrong somewhere. The poor chap wished me a good day and I had to call his momma out. I pray even if this habit continues, I keep it to muttering under my breath. Lord knows what might happen if I say something audibly.
I must find a way to come to terms with my anger issues. I cannot continue resenting everything and anyone I chance upon. Even those who have perfectly good or innocent intentions. For instance, today I was having lunch with one of the Aphrodites in the office. She noticed that I have a rather strong taste for red meat, as my plate closely resembled a slaughter house buffet. She began to voice her concerns about my meat intake and how too much of it is very dangerous...blah, blah, blah, etc.
As I contemplated stabbing her in the eye with my fork, I realised that my anger should not be directed at her, but at the sumbitches who have made it their business to denounce everything I love as bad and approve everything I dislike as good.
For fucks sake, excessive smoking - bad. It can cause either lung damage or brain damage (depending on what you're smoking).
Excessive drinking - bad. It causes liver and kidney damage. Excessive sex - bad. HIV, pregnancy, bad breath, you name it, they'll blame it on too much fucking.
And now, too much red meat?! I don't even want to know what that causes. I might fuck around, wake up some morning and develop horns and a sudden craving for grass. And not my preferred kind of grass either.
Dammit, when are they going to invent something that feels/tastes good AND is good for you?! Example, drugs. The ones that make you feel good are bad for you and the ones taste like frog ass are good for you. What kind of fucked up world is this anyway?!
I must intervene. And in my own way, I believe I must fight for a cause. We want beer flavoured paracetamols, skin moisturing cigarettes and red meat which enhances the size of your dick.
My anger issues are on the increase daily gentle folk, may I not lose that which makes me me. My cool.
I am Womilee gentlefolk, see you all Friday.