Monday, 2 August 2010

A.M. ... 02/07/2010


What to say, what to say? Can I possibly have anything else to vent about? I have used every metaphor, every euphemism I can think of. I have meditated, prayed, fasted, visited a couple of native doctors, consulted various oracles and joined all sorts of dark sects.
I have tried reason, force, sweet-talking, trickery and deceit.
I have employed science, alchemy, voodoo, New Ageism and religion.
I have done everything I could possibly try, and yet, despite my valiant (albeit shady) efforts, monday is back.
GIM gentle folk. I am upset. As usual. Lest I forget, please don't pay any attention to that homo Mr Green. Apparently, he was here on saturday, spewing his happiness and good will and shit. Fucking bastard makes me mad. Then again, there is very little that doesn't annoy me. Unfortunately, I have to share a body with the guy, so I guess from time to time, he might so his annoyingly happy face. One day though, ill find a way to switch places with him. 2 days in my shoes, see if the bastard is still so cheerful.
I feel like crying. Its not fair. I shouldn't have to work for a living, I'm too awesome for it. Really. I should be engaged in the business of simply being awesome. Awesomeness should be a vocation which brings dividends. Infact, I should be an awesomeness consultant. Of course, my methods of teaching awesomeness would be quite unorthodox. I would simply sit my my un-awesome patient down, and tell him exactly why I am more awesome than he is. After which I'd tell him to emulate everything he has heard, take his money and tell him to fuck off. Awesome right?
This monday in particular feels personal. It feels as though everbody else is still stuck in the weekend, or has passed their own mondays. So monday has her full concentration on me. I don't want her full attentions, you people should come get her off me. She's ugly. Her head game sucks, and no, not in the good way. Fuck this. Fuck it all. I don't think I can rightly explain how upset I am this morning. But Monday, I swear down, if its the last thing I do, ill get mine back. Of course this is somewhat an empty threat. How exactly does one enact revenge on a day of the week? I cannot cause physical harm, I cannot steal money, damage property, fuck spouse, kidnap children, deflate tires, piss in battery water, disconnect cable tv or poison. I cannot harm monday in any way or manner. But one day, when she least expects it, Womilee will strike.
Again good people, GIM. My word, that phrase is catching on. I was on twitter last night (in my usual stealth mode) and I saw various people use it. It was a bit of an ego trip, I must admit.
I must away now, duty calls.
I am Womilee.

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