Friday, 2 July 2010

A.M. ... 02/07/2010

Gentlefolk, did you remember? I will throw a big hissy-fit if you didn't. Dammit, its our one month anniversary! I cannot believe you didn't remember! No flowers by my bed this morning, no chocolates, no late night/wake-up blow job?! I'm never speaking to you again. And you can sleep on the couch from now on!
Good morning good people, how's it been going. Yes its been a month already, but I believe I over-enthused (please let that be a real word) on our one week anniversary, so I wont over do it today. I will say thanks again to you all, friends and readers, you guys make it worth it.
Its a good thing I didn't write anything yesterday, I was in a rather black mood. It was a bad day again, I think the fates punished me for taking the piss at customers on wednesday, all sorts of bad shit went down. Got home about 10pm too, I was a very unhappy camper. But sorry, I don't wanna talk about that for some reason.
Yesterday, I finally hit on one of my customers. She comes in every once in a while, and she's smoking hot. So I decided fuck it, I wanna talk to her. Now people, I'm not a pretty boy, but at least the electricity doesn't go off when i walk in a room. I confidently beat my meat and say I am not ugly. I am not Quasi Modo. I know this cos my mama tells me so. However, I am very adverse to walking up to women out of the blue. Ive never been comfortable with it, I prefer a friendly introduction, accidental meeting, maybe a bit of casual stalking, but never "hi, I'm Womilee and your ass is FINE!". Yesterday however, like I said already, fuck it.
I approached the fox and introduced myself, and I must admit, she was very friendly. Nice in every possible way, which of course spurred me on. I hit her with a few stories, a couple of jokes and everything was going well until I did the inevitable... I swore. Nothing to vulgar either, just a simple 'fuck'. That changed everything people. She didn't get upset though, she just kinda looked at me funny. The next question she asked me hit me hard people. "are you a born-again christian?"
Gentlefolk, may the Good Lord forgive me, but Ive never been more disappointed than that. And lets face it, there's really no way out of that question. If I said yes, then she'd wonder where my potty mouth came from, and even if I somehow convinced her of a brief demonic possession, she'd immediately commence exorsism procedures. After which she'd probably want to have an indepth discussion about the scriptures, which if you read this blog, you'd know I have minimal to zero knowledge about.
So I said no, trying to shrug it off, make it seem casual. This did not sit well with Aphrodite. She made it clear why I should turn my life around, stating benefits and advantages and all sorts of beautiful things. Have you ever been preached to with a beautiful set of tits in your front?! Its damn near impossible to concentrate. Every time she made a gesture or moved, they bounced. I mean come on, what was I supposed to do there? On one hand, there's this incredibly sexy thing in my front, asking me for my phone number... on the other hand, she wanted it for all the right reasons. I wanted her for all the wrong reasons, and these wrong reasons would have felt so right.
In the end, after about half an hour of her preaching and me nodding my head to the rhythm of her boobies, I relented. I did the right thing and gave her a phone number. Very soon, one of my advisors is going to get a very strange phone call, but like I said, it was the right thing to do. This particular bastard needs 2 Jesus's...
I must go now good people, we'll chat laters.
I am Womilee, peace be onto you all....

1 comment:

  1. as one of d advisers PA i hope its not my bosses number u gave out...mad man